Her Voice on the phone was my most favorite Hello, Little did I realize, Her Death would be my Most difficult Good-Bye.
I am still coming to terms with the death of my Grandmother. My Maiu ( I called her that fondly). One Rainy Morning in June 2013 she left a void in my heart never to be complete again. Another Rainy evening in June, I wrote what my heart felt and a lot more. When people say, ” Not all feelings have words”, it is true. What became words, became a Poem. What was left unsaid, what failed to show on paper,well, just stayed as a never ending need.
Few Lines from the Poem, Soft Wrinkly Arm.
I can still hear you giggle , I can visualize your smile,
Heavens most Beautiful Angel, On earth for just a while.
As I scribble my emotions, I find it hard, not to think,
What I would not give, to bring you back, here among your kin.
Born as a wonderful daughter, a dutiful wife to the end
You must have surpassed your duties as a Mother,
For you not only gave me a Mother, you gave me my Best Friend.
When I read a faded old recipe or feel the fabric of a pretty dress,
I recall memories of a wonderful cook and a magic seamstress.
Running pedal of your sewing machine, your most favorite tune,
You could fix anything from broken hearts to the most destructive ruin.
A ‘snip’ of this, a ‘dab’ of that, a ‘lump’ of something else,
You were no fairy with magic wand, You were like everybody else.
What made you stand apart, were the towers that you built,
In the hearts of your children, not of steel and cement, but Hope and Strong Will.
Your daughters are all distinct, I call them Mum and Aunt,
Your fierce pride for your little girls, each one a Piece of your Heart.
Of all the unforgettable memories, One has a special place,
Its the chuckle that you always gave, when I dabbed Blush on my face.
I still use the blush but now breathe a quiet little prayer,
I pray you are watching over me and giving a chuckle there.
I know Death is a fact of life, but my Heart aches so bad…….
Somewhere you must be blowing a kiss, saying ‘My Baby, don’t be sad!’
Your words and your wisdom, gets repeated now and then,
May be that is a way among us, you chose to remain.
Please, Please come back and give me a sign, Let out some sound or give an alarm,
Tell me where do I breathe in, your comforting smell…
….Sit by your side and squeeze your Soft Wrinkly Arm?
It took my 3 days to write this poem. My longest time for a piece of writing. It took me long not because I didn’t know what to write, it took me long because I never knew where to start. I never knew that one could cry so hard , that their hand shivered when writing. I never knew that there could be a loss that could never be compensated for. But most of it all, I never knew that I had the courage to write what I really felt.
P.S. If you have a wonderful Grandmother, please squeeze her Arm for me.